The Worst Situation

That night, we were exhausted enough and started to fall asleep once we settled down ourselves. Perhaps I was too tired, therefore I slept quite tight one during that night.

Awhile later, I was bothered by someone's mumbling, not one person but few persons. I could feel someone was walking here and there beside me...I forced myself to wake up, eventhough I was still extremely sleepy... as I knew that something was wrong already.

I opened my eyes, youngest aunt was packing her stuffs, her expression looked nervous and panicked. Followed by this scene, I saw my another aunt sat still on her bed, seemed worried of something... apparently something was wrong to grandma already.

The scene was filled with the unease atmosphere... everyone's expression was the same kind - depressing and worrying one. I was trying to help them but nothing I could do for them... 3.15am, when I took out my mobile phone and it showed this crucial time...This time, my grandma was struggling a lot, she was struggling to make decision to stay or leave.....We all knew that she had a lot stuffs hadn't been settled, we all knew that she couldn't let go anyone of us...

I wanted to visit her for the very last time, but I was afraid... I didn't have the guts to look at her pale and motionless face, I couldn't accept as a truth that she would be leaving us soon.. Hence, I chose to stay in where I was staying currently instead of going to the Hospital. In a short while, my 2 aunties and one of my sisters rushed out without further delaying anymore...

I understood that we would need extra strength thereafter, and perhaps I chose to be optismistic... I had a tight slumber when the time I slept again... it was like, my grandma was calling us not to worry her...

My handphone rang during 7.15am, it was my sister who called me.

"Ah ma passed away during 6.15am..... at Teroi now..."

I took a long breathe, eventually I began to say a little prayer for her... "Amitabha"

Along the way from Penang to Kedah, we weren't in mood to chat more. We really hoped we could reach Teroi as soon as possible... we wanted to see my grandma very much.

My grandma was lying on the chair already, when the time we stepped in her house..."Namo Amitabha, Namo Amitabha...." The Buddhist melody kept on repeating and my relatives were following the melody and sang-along it...Well, this would be the only thing we could contribute to my grandma currently....

I could see my cousin was sobbing, I didn't know why.. I couldn't do that. Maybe all this while I was educated by my mother that we shouldn't be crying in front of the dead people... Wholeheartly, I worshipped for her, hoping her rest in peace in the so-called other world.....